Hippo and Moose Digest

Guitar Cover-tatstic!

2009-08-23T15:55:00.000-06:00

Me playing "She's Electric" by Oasis:

2009-08-20T22:05:00.010-06:00

10 Amazingly Colossal Wastes of Time

Hey there! I haven't written in a while, mostly because I've had better things to do. But when I found myself making a list of colossal wastes of time (ah, the irony) I figured the time had come to take up ye olde mouse and keyboard and put it on the blog (which, by the way, is totally mainstream, now, dude, like, not rad at all). So without further adieu, Ten Amazingly Colossal Wastes of Time:

10. Imagining chickens in various pieces of trendy clothing
When you're sitting around with absolutely nothing to do and you're sick of making up words to Fly Like an Eagle. Pick up a magazine and page through it GQ, Esquire, and Vogue are always great bets. Now, Imagine, instead of an incredibly attractive model flaunting outrageously expensive assware (call it "clothes" if want). Imagine a Rode-Island Red flaunting outrageously expensive assware. For those who are easily entertained (myself included), it makes for hours of fun.
9. Pronouncing all of the Hawaiian Islands as if they were sneezes
"O'ahu" is probably the easiest to do and "Moloka'i" sounds more like a wet cough. This technique can also be implemented with the names in the Old Testament (or the Tanakh, for my Jewish friends, it's essentially the same book), street signs, and also things you want to say in a passive-aggressive manor.

8. Facebook/Twitter (the link is a shameless plea for more followers)
It would be number 1 but sometimes it's not a waste of time (the first step is always denial) because you can learn things about relatives, look at embarrassing pictures of people you vaguely remember seeing once at "that thing, that one time, you know with a cake or something" and, also you get a glimpse on how pointless and redundant other people's thoughts are, and you get to feel a little better about your own pointless and redundant thoughts.

7. Staring a at speck on the wall
Again, could've been first but does increase you ability to concentrate. Set some goals if you want, I made it to 10 minutes once, I'm sure you can do better.

6. Working on a blog that no one reads because (among other reasons) you don't update it...ever
Yeah, going for irony but I think I'm trying to hard. If you also have one leave me a link as a comment and I'll probably read a post or two (mostly out of guilt because you read mine).

5. Thinking about one subject for a very long time
For example: Chocolate, Adult Diapers, Postal Delivery People, What A Kidney Looks Like...etc. It can get tedious, but what the hell else to do have to do?

4. Testing all your joints to see if you are "double jointed"
Don't hurt yourself, and definitely don't sue me, I don't have any money. Besides, if you were double jointed you would've figured it out by now...probably.

3. Singing a word or phrase over and over with increasing volume
Great way to find you neighbor's and co-worker's "annoying things" threshold. Though, everyone will either think you're mentally ill or just a total ass (And you might be both if you take advice from someone on the internet, I'm talking to YOU Yahoo Answers users).

2. Scribbling on a piece of paper frantically until it tears then immediately grabbing a new one and continuing
The great thing about this one is that you can do it forever (or until something more interesting happens or you run out of paper). Also it is a not only an Amazingly Colossal Waste of Time, it's also an Amazingly Colossal Waste of Paper.

1. Actually doing what you are suppose to be doing
Being alive in itself is a futile process. So why bother doing anything that you don't want to do in the first place. I mean, in the end (read: when you're dead) does the the 3rd quarter consumer report, your thesis on ants, or your math homework really matter?

And that was my list. Does nothing really matter? leave me a comment on what you think. Also if this post offended you, I apologize, that was not my intention at all. So, please don't leave nasty misspelled comments that are vaguely coherent. Thanks for reading this far, if you're on Stumble Upon "thumbs up" me and if you're not, just tell you're friends. I don't make any money off this blog. I'd just like to get a ton of hits on it, one of these days.

A Teaser

2009-06-25T08:33:00.001-06:00

2007-10-22T16:04:00.000-06:00

---Some thoughts on life---

Life is... well for one thing it is amazingly absurd.
That is what I hope to show people with this blog and also that we take ourselves way to seriously. Life is what ever you want it to be. I want it to be a good time.
There is some thoughts on life...

2007-07-02T08:54:00.000-06:00

Hello again!!!! My friends and I have made a New Account on Youtube.com where we intend to post lots of short films. http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=3friendsE

More odd News

2007-06-15T12:09:00.001-06:00

Being the attracted to randomness as I am. Me and my associates come across oddly hilarious things all of the time I just wanted to share this one with you.

German squirrel on a rampage injures 3 people

72-year-retiree dispatches rowdy rodent with a crutch

BERLIN - An aggressive squirrel attacked and injured three people in a German town before a 72-year-old pensioner dispatched the rampaging animal with his crutch.

The squirrel first ran into a house in the southern town of Passau, leapt from behind on a 70-year-old woman, and sank its teeth into her hand, a local police spokesman said on Thursday.

With the squirrel still hanging from her hand, the woman ran onto the street in panic, where she managed to shake it off.

The animal then entered a building site and jumped on a construction worker, injuring him on the hand and arm, before he managed to fight it off with a measuring pole.

"After that, the squirrel went into the 72-year-old man's garden and massively attacked him on the arms, hand and thigh," the spokesman said. "Then he killed it with his crutch."

The spokesman said experts thought the attack may have been linked to the mating season or because the squirrel was ill.

The official link to the original page is here http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19223211/?GT1=10056

Where is my shoe?

2007-04-11T16:23:00.001-06:00

Have you ever lost something and never found it? How about socks, fining ah odd number? Consider this:

Due to string theory, there are billions of vibrating strings that make up everything. Also, these strings, using an immense amount of energy, can become the size of a universe, these being call "membranes" or "branes" for short. Thus causing the thought to occur what if there is we are all on a giant membrane and that there are other membranes (A.K.A. universes). These universes could be parallel meaning that the is someone just like you on another universe.

My idea is that when you lose something, it goes to a universe dedicated to that particular object for instance shoes. Meaning that there are huge, multi-dimensional place full of shoes.

2006-12-13T16:47:00.000-07:00

I just though that this was kinda funny

2006-10-25T09:34:00.000-06:00

hi all, i have a new vid out it is at this link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7ylEEc3PqM
i think it's my best work ever.

2006-09-06T16:44:00.000-06:00

this is a vid with a relivent theme http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dq9CIucVAQI here is the latest vid i made http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5j_AQV4F_4

2006-08-12T10:03:00.000-06:00

the weekly joke:

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

this joke was from http://www.jokesandhumor.com/jokes/362.html

2006-08-05T08:38:00.000-06:00

Once upon a time there was a hippo by the name of bob. Bob had lots of fun it the lake with the fish. One day bob was floating along the bottom of the lake when he ran into four furry legs which jumped in surprise. Bob fallowed the legs up to a furry neck then a furry head. Bob said,
“hello, I’m bob who are you” the furry head said, “hello, I’m Jim the moose”.

Bob and jim spent most of their time in the lake together and had a fabulous time.

click the adress below to see a carrtoon i madehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5fNQnWb1jY

2006-08-04T13:18:00.000-06:00

if you are asked "what's up?" either answer "the sky" or "the ceiling" depending if you are inside or not.

if you are sick of someone sending you e-mails copy and past something from this site wikipedia.com.

if you need to get into a place that requires identification and you don't have the right kind. Take a friend with you. When you go by the identifier you say "it's okay he's/she's with me."(that one pretty old so it might not work)

if you want some one to go away talk about "the little old man named Larry that lives in your shoe".

more tips will come...

2006-08-04T10:20:00.000-06:00

i am sorry that i mispelled some words. me and spelling don't get together often enough.

thanx,
jake

2006-08-04T10:16:00.000-06:00

At one point in time there was a man that wondered why he was small…in the end he concluded the he really didn’t care enough to actually look up his genetics and find the correct gene.
The end

2006-08-04T09:40:00.000-06:00

“Pillowslip!” showed the fellow in the green T-shirt with the capitol letter B on it. Stupid game, Kill-the-kid-with-a-monkey. Which involves buying several small faces at discount price and whacking anyone who looks like the might be in ownership of a monkey. The place in which this game is played (and I am in, oh reader) is Smigle. Smigle is not a town nor a country but the only world besides us (earth) that has not discovered the sentient universe around it. Now to our character, bill smith(very original name) who is being beaten with discount faces, bill is an average Smiglian in that he works his rear off for the better part of a day so his friends are impressed.
Faces are obviously used for plastic surgery most of the time and are sold at Wickenbaster’s for only four yellow squares of carpet (the currency of Smigle). Wickenbaster’s is most like are (earth’s) Walgreens.