if you are asked "what's up?" either answer "the sky" or "the ceiling" depending if you are inside or not.

if you are sick of someone sending you e-mails copy and past something from this site wikipedia.com.

if you need to get into a place that requires identification and you don't have the right kind. Take a friend with you. When you go by the identifier you say "it's okay he's/she's with me."(that one pretty old so it might not work)

if you want some one to go away talk about "the little old man named Larry that lives in your shoe".

more tips will come...